


I can’t help this awful energy

by NotOddJustaLittleUneven



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BTW, Don’t Yuck My Yum, Explicit Language, F/M, I prefer BeAr, I'm Bad At Tagging, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reread the tags again if you are confused, Smut, Statutory Rape, This is a Barchie fic, Trigger Warnings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotOddJustaLittleUneven/pseuds/NotOddJustaLittleUneven
Summary: It was only a kiss. Right?Wrong!How the girl next door and the all American boy really dealt with their shared trauma in Pickens Park.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews/Geraldine Grundy (Past), Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	1. I can’t help this awful energy

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what happens when I binge watch two seasons of Riverdale in one day. I’m so onboard the BeAr train. (Yes I know it’s Barchie but that’s too corny for me) I also wrote this at 2am so I apologize for grammar, spelling and tense (That might be covered under grammar) errors.  
> This takes place immediately after Episode 2x09.
> 
> The title is from Control by Halsey

_  
And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"_   
_I can't help this awful energy_   
_God damn right, you should be scared of me_   
_Who is in control? - Control by Halsey_

**  
1**

  
It was only a release of adrenaline, they simply scratched an itch. It was just a stupid kiss anyway. That’s what they told Veronica and Jughead. That’s what Cheryl Blossom witnessed, in her driveway, a juicy tidbit she filed away for blackmailing purposes or causing chaos.

What Cheryl didn’t see and what Ronnie and Jughead could never find out. What happened later that night after the Black Hood held a gun to her head. After the sheriff took their statements at the crime scene on the bridge and finally let them go home, not before warning them that calls to their respective parents were made and they needed to make more formal statements at the station in the morning. After the deputy escorted the teens to the Cooper family station wagon, they got into the car and drove away. 

Nobody knew that just a few miles down the road from Pop’s, Betty turned right instead of the left that would take them home. When she pulled over on the deserted road and began to shake, Archie pulled her from the driver's side into his lap. How she shivered and cried into his shoulder until she couldn’t cry anymore. 

“Archie I buried you…, that monster made me…” 

“Betty it’s okay now, he is dead, he will never hurt anyone again.”

“I just need… I need…” she whispered looking up into his dirt smudged face and realized that he was crying too. Her hand cupped his cheek, thumb wiped away the dirt and his tears. She instantly wanted to comfort him. “I need you…” he turned his head and kissed her palm. 

She gasped at the feel of his lips then pulled his mouth to hers. This wasn’t the sweet kiss they shared earlier that evening. It was savage with bitten lips and swirling tongues. By the time they pulled away to come up for air, Betty realized she was straddling Archie’s lap in only jeans and her bra. Their jackets and shirts had been thrown haphazardly around the station wagon in their haste to touch each other’s skin. They both gasped for breath and Betty saw something in Archie’s eyes that she had never seen before (at least not when he had looked at her) It was LUST. He is staring at her pink cotton bra and licking his lips, like he wants nothing more to get his mouth on her breasts. The thought made Betty’s hips buck and they both moaned as she rubbed herself on his Jean clad erection. Suddenly they are at it as frantically as before. His hands fumbling with the claps of her bra while hers are just as clumsy with the button and zipper of his jeans. He helped her with her own pants and panties while latching onto her nipple making her whine. Some sanity thankfully broke through the haze and they managed to get the condom from his wallet.

She lowered herself onto his erection, Gasping and biting her lip at the pain as she felt herself stretch to accommodate him. Betty clutched his shoulders to keep her balance. She slowly began to circle her hips, and the pain subsided and pleasure took over. Archie’s hands were everywhere, grabbing onto her hips, kneading her breasts, holding her head still so he can devour her lips. She was determined now not to slow down, not to think or feel anything except Archie around her, inside her. Almost there, teetering on the edge of orgasm. She grounded down on him trying to find the right friction. 

“Archie!” She moaned “Please! I need… I need.” 

“I know.” He answered her, snaked his hand down between them to rub, to tease and pinch her clit. He thrusted to meet her bouncing hips and the angle was perfect.

“Oh god.” Her hips stuttered and Archie felt her walls flutter around him

“Betty!” He cried, thrusting up harder chasing his own orgasm. 

Then the car was quiet except for their panting. Neither of them moved just holding on to each other. But soon Betty began to feel the cold of the outside leaching in and her sweat damp skin erupted in goose bumps. The reality of what they just did started to sink in. Panic was replaced by an eerie calm. She simply was too emotionally and physically exhausted to deal with it. She shifted backward and had to suppress a whimper at the loss of him inside her. He looked as wrecked as she felt. She watched as he took care of the condom and pulled up his pants and boxers. He helped steady her as she fixed her own clothing, grabbed her bra from the dashboard and their shirts from the back seat. She climbed back over the center console into the driver's seat. Her breath finally returned to normal as she flipped down the sun visor to fix her ponytail and grabbed a tissue from the console to wipe at the dirt on her cheek. She felt his eyes on her as she started the car. The sound of the engine broke the fragile silence and they both jumped at the noise. 

“Betts, I can drive if you need me to” He offered but she shook her head calmly and pulled out onto the road, turning the car around.

“It's fine, I’m fine.” She replied and wondered if she actually believed it. They drove the rest of the way home in silence. She pulled into her driveway, turned off the car and all but ran up the steps of her porch not even turning to say goodnight before she was inside her home. Archie was still sitting in the passenger seat staring after her when the porch light turned off. He wanted to run after her and… Fuck! He didn’t even know what he wanted to do. He slowly got out of the car and walked next door. His Dad had been waiting up for him, the conversation that followed had not been an easy one, but it ended in a hug and a promise. Archie was so exhausted that he wasn’t exactly sure what he had promised, the whole night seemed so surreal. He finally got to his room and looked out his window trying to get a glimpse of Betty and make sure she was okay but her blinds were closed.

Betty’s own parents had been waiting for her in the kitchen when she got home. Her mom pulled her into a fierce hug at the same time she chastised her. They told her about the phone call from the Sheriff and gave her the third degree. Peppered her with questions about what had happened and her wellbeing. She finally pleaded exhaustion and was allowed to go to her room. Not even bothering to turn on the bedroom light, she removed her clothes and headed toward her bathroom. A quick shower to wash away the dirt and sweat of the night's activities. Almost robotically going through her night time rituals. It hadn’t happened, she told herself ignoring the evidence of a hickey on her breast and small bruises on her hips left by Archie’s fingertips. She closed her blinds and got into her bed finally succumbing to fatigue, Betty passed out.

“Elizabeth!” She heard her mom call and her eyes snapped open. For a moment she thought it was all a dream. But the dull ache between her legs and the heap of dirty clothes on the floor was evidence to the contrary. She got dressed and headed downstairs. Forced herself to eat under her mother's watchful gaze not willing to deal with Alice’s hysterics if she didn’t. Her Dad took her down to the police station to give a formal statement to Sheriff Keller. She could feel her Dads concerned eyes on her as they drove there and back but she ignored it. Checked her phone to see a couple of missed texts from V and Jug. 

She finally saw Archie again when the four met up at Pop’s for lunch. They told Jughead and Veronica an edited version about what happened the night before. She sat in the booth next to Archie and did her best to ignore the heat of his thigh against hers. 

Betty felt Jughead's eyes on her the whole conversation like he knew something wasn’t being said, she felt herself internally begin to panic. When they all got up to leave he grabbed her hand to hold her back with him. But what he said to her was not what she expected.

“Betty I know things have been rocky between us and I know it is mostly my fault but you were my friend first before you were my girlfriend and I hate that my friend was so scared.” He squeezed her hand and Betty felt so relieved at the gesture hoping that things were getting back to normal, well as normal as Riverdale ever gets anyway.

Archie watched Betty and Jughead through the diner window. His attention was so fixed on them that he hadn’t heard a word Veronica said.

“Archiekins! Are you listening to me?” Veronica asked and lightly pushed his shoulder. His attention snapped to her face and the beginning of a pout that was forming.

“I’m sorry Ronnie. Last night was rough and I barely slept so I’m just exhausted.” What he didn’t say was that his dreams were consumed by visions of Betty. He’d woke up that morning from a particularly hot dream of her screaming his name while his mouth was between her thighs. He watched Veronica’s pout turn into concern.

“No I’m so sorry. Of course you're still upset. I’m upset and it didn’t even happen to me.” She hugged him and as he hugged her back but his gaze found the couple in the window again. He watched Betty lean in and kiss Jughead on the cheek and felt the burn of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.

“You should head home and rest. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve after all.” Ronnie pulled away from him and greeted Jughead and Betty with a smile. “Merry Christmas, I will see you guys later. The stores are still open and I have some last minute shopping to do.” She quickly hugged Betty and headed toward the black SUV thanking the driver who immediately jumped out and opened the door for her. Neither Veronica nor Jughead saw the look of guilt on Betty’s face but Archie did and he felt it too. 

Jughead said his own farewell and headed toward his motorcycle. Betty watched him leave with the same feeling of guilt crawling in her guts. 

“Can I drive you home?” Archie asked her and for one moment Betty contemplated turning him down before nodding and let him load her bicycle into the bed of his Dad’s truck. She had just secured her seatbelt and found him staring at her.

“Betts we need to talk.” Archie said as he secured his own belt and started the truck. Betty nodded but turned to face the window. She waited for him to say something but he didn’t. So she continued to look out the window and noticed that he made the same wrong turn she had last night and pulled over. The “Scene of the crime” looked different in the light of day, all innocent trees and foliage. He turned off the truck and looked at her waiting for her to turn around and talk to him. She sighed and turned to him.

“What?” She asked

“What do you mean, What??” His frustration began to rise.

“You're the one who said we needed to talk. So?”

“We do need to talk! About what happened last night!” Archie sounded exasperated.

“Which part Arch? The part when I found out my grandfather was a murderer or how about when I was forced at gunpoint to bury you alive?” She began to get angry. “Or how about the part where I lost my virginity to my best friend, my ex boyfriend's best friend! My best friends ex boyfriend, in the middle of the fucking woods in the front seat of the family station wagon!” She covered her mouth in disbelief at what she just said aloud.

“Your first time? I thought you a Jughead…”

Archie reached out for her but it was all too much for her to deal with. She was out of the truck in an instant and running away through the trees. 

“Betty!” She heard him call after her but she couldn’t stop. Internally cursing the fact she had worn a skirt and tights to the diner today and her flats were not made for running. Archie caught up to her only a few yards away from the truck, easily grabbing her arm.

“Betty, stop! Please!” He pleaded, pulling her around to face him and backing her up against a tree. 

“We did stuff okay. A lot of stuff..,just not that. I wasn't ready.” She admitted answering the question he had asked her before her impromptu fifty yard dash. “I wasn’t ready okay?” 

“Okay.” He held his hands up backing away in surrender. “But last night we mphfff” Betty covered his mouth with her hand.

“Last night was an aberration, an outlier, a release of adrenaline Archie.” She tried to explain then jerked her hand back when she felt him kiss her palm.

“A mistake?” He asked softly. She nodded and felt her heartbreak at his question. “Okay then what now? Do we just pretend that it didn’t happen? Can you forget it? Because I don’t think I can.” He crowded into her space until he was almost pressed up against her.

“Archie?” Betty’s voice quavered.

“I can’t forget how beautiful you looked last night and how amazing you felt when you came apart.” He admitted “I dreamed about it last night. You spread open before me screaming my name while you danced on my tongue.” He saw her intake of breath and watched her pupils dilate. He leaned into her and ran his nose along her neck. “I want to make you fall apart like that Betty. I need too.” He nibbled on her earlobe and felt her arms come around him. Her hand creeped up and buried itself in his hair. “Tell me to stop and I will” He whispered against her soft lips. 

“Please.” She begged and he pulled back not clear if she was telling him to BACK OFF or keep going. He felt her tug his mouth to hers. “Please don’t stop.”

He finally pulled away from her and knelt onto the forest floor. His hands opened her coat, worked under her skirt easing down her tights and taking her panties with them. Archie nibbled on the inside of her trembling thigh then tucked the front of her skirt into the waistband so he could see. He wanted, no, needed to see her as he did his absolute best to pleasure her with his mouth and fingers. At that moment Archie was never more grateful for the hours he spent with his former music teacher. Miss Grundy taught him more about a woman’s body than she did the guitar.

Betty tried to keep quiet, but all rational thoughts driven away by waves of pleasure. Her legs felt like they were jello and she would have collapsed if Archie hadn’t braced one leg over his shoulder. When his fingers had rubbed at that hidden spot inside her, sucked upon her clit she couldn’t hold back anymore. She came with a wail, head falling back against the tree, vision going white. 

He reluctantly removed her leg from his shoulder, placed one last kiss on her quivering folds and regained his feet. Pulled up her panties and readjusted her skirt. 

Betty opened her eyes to see his face. His cheeks were flushed and his mouth and chin looked damp from her orgasm. She pulled him into a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue. They made out for a few minutes and Betty was ready to drop to her knees, to return the favor when Archie’s cell phone rang. He stepped back from her and fished his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. 

“Hey Dad, what’s up?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes we just left Pop’s and we should be home in a few. Okay, yeah that’ll be fine I guess. I love you too dad. Bye.” 

“So your Mom just invited Dad and I over for Christmas Eve dinner. Something about a need to return to normalcy, whatever that means.”

“Just my Mom’s way of pretending that nothing is wrong. We will be having a perfect Christmas or face the wrath of Alice Cooper.” Betty adjusted her tights and buttoned up her coat. Smoothed down her skirt making sure that she was presentable. “We have to go, I am sure she has already blown up my phone by now.”

She made her way back through the trees toward the red pickup truck. Archie followed behind her, hands stuffed in his pockets.


	2. Tried to hold these secrets inside me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archie begins to process everything that has happened. Andrews family bonding as they get ready for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a quick chapter from Archie’s POV.  
> Thanks for the kudos and encouraging comments. (Well some of them were encouraging anyway.) Per usual, sorry in advance for spelling and grammar and I do not own any of the characters.

_I sat alone, in bed till the morning_   
_I'm crying, "They're coming for me"_   
_And I tried to hold these secrets inside me_   
_My mind's like a deadly disease. -Control by Halsey_

**2**

They still hadn’t talked about what was going on between them. Their only interaction was when she handed him a wet wipe to clean his face. It invoked a flashback back to a smiling Miss Grundy handing him a baby wipe and a breath mint before dropping him off home. After Archie pulled into his driveway, Betty was out of the car just as quickly as she had been the night before. He hadn’t even turned the ignition off. He and his father went out immediately after to finish up their own holiday preparations. Food shopping for Christmas Day brunch. 

Ever since Archie could remember the Andrews always joined the Coopers for Christmas Eve dinner and the Andrews hosted brunch the next day. A tradition that abruptly stopped when Archie’s mother left town. His dad had declined the invitation two years ago and he and Archie spent a quiet dinner at Pop’s. Didn’t even bother to decorate the house. As much as he loved Pop’s burgers and milkshakes, his mouth watered at the memory of roast turkey and honey baked ham with all the fixings.

Fred had decided that reinvoking one tradition wasn’t complete without bringing back the other. He and his dad got the Christmas decorations from the attic and they spent the day hanging the lights and setting up the tree. Every ornament that decorated the tree had some memory attached they had laughed over the stories. Archie hadn’t seen his father so happy in a long time. The sadness in his eyes when he usually mentioned Archie’s mom, wasn’t there anymore. His dad was simply smiling. The last thing to do was hang up the stockings. Mary had hand embroidered each of their names on them with a little image. Fred’s was green with a red pick up truck stitched below his name. Archie’s was red with a green dinosaur. (He had told her he wanted to be Tyrannosaurus Rex when he grew up. He had been six at the time.) Mary’s own red and green stripe stocking had a law scale embroidered in gold tread. The last stocking was a pale pink. Archie still remembered the tears in six year old Betty’s eyes when she had seen it hanging on the mantle next to Archie’s. She had held it in her lap all day. Her fingers rubbing back and forth over the dark pink stitched bow and her name. When Mary had tried to assure her that it was alright to take it home, Betty had adamantly refused then hung it back up on the mantle. Archie rubbed his own fingers across the embroidery before hanging it up next to his own. 

Things were so fucked up right now. He realized that they had been for a while. Starting with Miss Grundy and then Jason Blossom‘s murder, Archie’s father getting shot and finally the Black Hood. Archie had spent the last year and a half living on pure adrenaline. He never had a second to process anything, to just breathe and be a normal teenager. He would give anything to feel normal again. To not react with anger and violence. To allow himself to feel real emotion instead of using sex to fill a void. That’s really what he and Ronnie had been doing. Fucking everything away till he felt numb again. Whenever he had began to grieve or get scared he lost himself between her thighs. It’s the same thing that happened with Betty last night and this morning. He looked at the pink stocking again. He hated the fact that Betty was as damaged by all of this as he was. 

“Archie call your Mom and ask her to email us her quiche recipe.” Fred called out from the kitchen. “I can’t seem to get the crust dough right.”

“Yeah sure.” Archie answered. He hung up the pink stocking next to his own, grabbed his phone and headed to the kitchen to help his dad.

Mary decided that emailing the recipe wasn’t good enough so they set up the Laptop on the kitchen island. She talked them through each step of the process on a video chat. After the quiches were in the oven they all just kept talking. Archie told her about the black hood, the Red Circle and how he should have stopped Mr. Conway when he and Ronnie confronted the Janitor. That he didn’t know if he and Ronnie were even together anymore. It felt good to say it all out loud. He didn’t mention the sex with both Ronnie and Betty, he wasn’t ready to be that honest with his parents. (Probably never would.) Both his parents listened quietly until he had exhausted his words. His dad hugged him. When they turned back to the screen and Archie could see tears in his mother’s eyes.

“Archie already promised to come to me next time with anything that feels bad or dangerous. No matter what it is with no fear of judgement. Hopefully there won’t be a next time.” Fred told her.

“Archie I hope you know that there is nothing that you can do that would stop us from loving you.” His mom said and Fred nodded. “Even if you had been the Black hood, we would still love you.” 

“Thanks Mom.” Archie blink away his own unshed tears. 

They ate dinner together over the video chat, both calling out for pizza delivery, His mom used a fork and knife to eat her Chicago style deep dish while Archie and his ad plowed their way through a New York style pepperoni pie from Luigi’s. They argued the merits of each pizza. (A friendly that had happened often in the Andrews household.) His dad called deep dish pizza “casserole” and his mom replied by calling Fred’s preference “cardboard.” Archie didn’t care he liked both but when he closed his eyes he felt like his Mom was in the room with them and he felt content. The feeling continued the rest of the night even though when he looked out the window, Betty’s blinds were still closed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was really short but it felt like a natural place to stop. I really do feel that a lot of Archie’s actions and reactions can be explained by the fact that he never gets a chance to process the traumas that he experienced. How his Mom moving to Chicago could be a reason he fell under Miss Grundy’s spell that easily. That and the hormones of normal an average sixteen year old boy. I am not a psychologist in any sense but I know how I dealt with (or not dealt with) trauma around that age and hyper sexuality and rage was a part of it.


	3. Tried to hold these secrets inside me (PART 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the day from Betty’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I used the same chapter title but this is really continuing of that chapter. Hence the very subtle (PART 2) Someday I might go back and re edit this and combine these two but I am not that motivated right now.  
> Unbetaed (is that even a word??) So as always the apologies for mistakes.

**3 (2.5)**

Betty opened her front door and entered into a literal nightmare. In the two hours she was at Pop’s and with Archie her house had gone from country Christmas chic to crazy Christmas chaos. This was the Christmas of her childhood. White and Gold decorations, porcelain angels on every surface.

The modest fresh tree that Betty had decorated with her Parents and a pregnant Polly was replaced by the giant pre lit fake one that they had stopped using years ago. She had honestly thought her father had finally burned it as he threatened to do each year after New Years when he took it down. Once Grandma and Grandpa Cooper were too sick to make the trek from California to Riverdale, her mother stopped trying to impress her mother-in-law and had actually relaxed to enjoy the holiday with her family. So the frigid white and gold museum had been replaced with warm red and green plaids.

“Elizabeth is that you?” Her mother called from the kitchen. “I need your help.”

“Mom what happened to our Christmas tree?”

“Oh I was feeling nostalgic, and made your Father get our old one from the attic. Doesn’t it really feel like the perfect Christmas of your childhood?” Betty didn’t know why she was so shocked, this is exactly how her Mom coped, ignoring the elephant in the room and focusing on perfection.

“This is the last of them Alice.” Her dad came down the stairs carrying a cardboard box. “Hey Betty.” He greeted her with a shrug. He also knew the futility of arguing when his wife had her mind made up.

“Great the rest of those angels can be set up in the dining room and don’t forget the one for the tree topper. Now Elizabeth, you are on pie duty, these apples need peeling.” She handed Betty an apron and a bowl of honey crisp apples. 

Betty nodded and got to work. Losing herself in the hum of the kitchen aid mixer. Baking was a science and she had always loved chemistry. All the ingredients had to be measured perfectly. If one measurement was off by even an eight of a teaspoon, the pie could be ruined. 

While Alice fixed the turkey and ham, her father peeled potatoes, shelled pecans and sliced vegetables. Betty kneaded the dough and cut it into thirds, wrapping each one tightly and storing them in the fridge to chill. Then she started on the fillings. Betty stirred the apples, cranberries, granulated sugar, cornstarch, orange zest, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg together in a large bowl. In the other bowl she whisked together the eggs, dark corn syrup, dark brown sugar, vanilla, butter and salt.  
She knew that the cranberry apple was Archie’s favorite while Fred preferred pecan pie. The thought of seeing Archie’s face when he saw what she had baked filled her with such happiness. Maybe she could ignore the ghastly angel decor and focus on that feeling, at least for a little while anyway. She took out the chilled pie crusts then rolled out two discs to fit into the waiting greased pie tins. She filled the pecan pie first and put it in the oven, then filled the fruit pie adding drops of butter on top. Betty rolled out the last piece of dough into a large rectangle to cut strips for the lattice on the Cranberry Apple. Every year she had watched her Mom bake these pies from the age of three and memorized every step her Mother made. Alice allowed her to take over the chore at thirteen. (Under her careful supervision, of course.) Betty didn’t even need to look at the recipe card anymore, only occasionally to check her measurements. She enjoyed baking, she had never felt more content when she was elbow deep in flour, sugar and butter. It didn’t hurt that the fruits of her labor were appreciated, especially by a certain red headed boy. 

After a day spent preparing for tomorrow’s feast nobody wanted to cook dinner. Even her Mom was too exhausted to argue for something more nutritious, when Betty and her dad voted for pizza. They compromised on a Veggie with whole wheat crust and they sat at the kitchen table and watched “A Christmas story” on the kitchen's tiny television. They laughed and quoted lines from the movie and Alice hadn’t even said anything when Betty grabbed a second slice. Betty was overcome with an overwhelming sadness. She longed for the days of her innocence. Everything that happened in the last year and half had shattered it. She felt guilty for keeping secrets from her parents and her friends. She had always wished she had the same relationship with her parents that Archie had with his. She knew that there was nothing he could tell Mary or Fred that would make them not love him. With her own Mom and Dad she wasn’t really sure. Sometimes she felt a step away from disownment if she ever went off the script and showed them anything other then the “perfect” daughter they demanded. Perfect! She hated the word as much as her mom loved it. Maybe that was why Archie’s rejection after the homecoming dance was so devastating. Betty had always thought the only thing perfect about her was her love for the boy next door.

After dinner Betty excused herself. She told her parents that she wanted to get ahead on next semester's reading assignment. It was her intention but she couldn’t seem to focus on the Kurt Vonnecut novel. Instead she thought about Christmases past. Her Mom had always cooked enough to feel and army. Making up little doggie bags of leftovers for her guests to take home. They usually hosted some families of The Register staff as well as a few neighbors. Although two years ago their guest list was diminished by three.. Once Mrs. Andrews has moved to Chicago, Archie and his dad didn’t come anymore. Betty always made sure to save them both a piece of their favorite pies. She had brought them over to the undecorated house next door the day after Christmas along with as many leftovers as her Mom would allow. She had missed her best friend so much during those holidays. Archie had acted as a buffer from her mother's constant need to control her. Last year Betty had felt more like hired help than a daughter. She sighed and picked up the novel trying to focus again on the author's satiric prose.

Betty woke up gasping with the Slaughter House Five plastered to her face. The nightmare had involved her family dining with the Black Hood. He made her carve the turkey at gunpoint and when she made the first slice a river of blood poured out. Remembering that part made Betty gag and barely made it to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She brushed her teeth and washed her face. She turned off the bedroom light and looked at her phone to check the time. It was 2AM and the last thing she wanted to do was lay back down and dream again. She looked through her blinds and noticed the light in the bedroom window across from hers. Before she could talk herself out of it she picked up her phone and texted Archie.

**R U Awake??**

Almost immediately her phone buzzed.

**Nope Can’t Sleep**

**Me 2 nightmares**

**Me 2**

Betty had been trying to think of something to text back when her phone buzzed again. 

**Come over?**

Then another text swiftly followed.

**Just wanna talk.** She was going to answer no that it was too late but then the buzz went off again.

**Please! We can meet in the garage.**

It was the Please that made her mind up and she typed back.

**Ok**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I still have some mixed feelings about Chic so I am not sure if I’m going to introduce him. Next up Christmas Eve and Day. Honestly this was supposed to be a one and done but it doesn’t seem to want to let me go. I am so grateful for the kudos and comments (not trolls)


	4. I turned all the mirrors around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty meets Archie in the Garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems the muse is with me. I will keep posting chapters until I run dry. I edited the tags and adding a few for those with trigger warnings. This chapter discusses Miss Grundy’s abuse of Archie. It was consensual but he was still a minor. She manipulated him to get what she wanted. All apologies still apply.

_I paced around for hours on empty_  
 _I jumped at the slightest of sounds_  
 _And I couldn't stand the person inside me_  
 _I turned all the mirrors around_ \- Control by Halsey.

**4**

  
  


It wasn’t hard for Betty to sneak out. Between her Dad’s sleep apnea machine and her Mom’s noise canceling ear plugs, a herd of elephants couldn’t disturb them. That being said Betty did try to be as quiet as possible and made sure the step over the creaky stair as she made her escape. She was glad she had remembered her jacket but the frigid wind cut right through her pink flannel pajamas. She wished she had thought to grab her scarf and gloves but it was too risky to go back and get them. Betty picked up the pace to the house next door. She knocked softly on the garage side door, shivering in another blast of wind. 

Just when she had decided to turn around the door opened. 

Betty pushed past Archie and ran to the small electric heater. Her teeth were chattering so hard she didn’t bother with a greeting. Then she was enveloped in a blue and gold fleece blanket.

“Here Betts.” Archie said and pulled her back against him rubbing her arms gently. The contact was a shock to her system. Her heart was at war with her head. To give in and sink into his warmth, or run away. 

“Th Th Thanks.” 

They stood silently like that a few more minutes before Betty finally could feel her extremities thaw and gotten a handle on her shivers. She wanted to turn around in his arms but she made herself step away from him. Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around her, she sat down on the old ratty sofa. Archie sat down next to her and they stared at the floor. 

“I want too…”

“What was your…”

They both started talking at the same time. 

“You go first Betts.” Archie sat back and gave his full attention.” Betty nodded.

“You had a nightmare too?” Archie nodded his answer.

“What was it about?” 

“Um it’s hard to explain.”

“Please try.”

Archie took a deep breath. He was acting like he really didn’t want to tell her that he dreamed about.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.” But he shook his head.

“Miss Grundy and I were in her car, parked by Sweetwater River.”

“Oh.” Betty’s cheeks flush at the mention of the deceased music teacher. Archie’s face was also red.

“Anyway the Black Hood found us and shot her, but it wasn’t her… It was you.” His voice cracked with emotion. Betty put her hand on his knee to comfort him. “You’re dying and he said it was all my fault. That I was a sinner and had to be punished.” she could see him tear up and hugged him. He hugged her back but then pulled away, wiping tears

“He was right Betty. I was weak and let myself get involved with Geraldine. I know now that she used me, but I really thought that I loved her. It’s just so fucked up.” 

“Archie, No! You were her victim. She preyed upon the fact that your mom moved away. You weren’t her first and you certainly weren’t her last.” 

“But she was mine!” He met her eyes and her heart broke at the sorrow she saw. “I lost my virginity to her in the back seat of her car. And then I did the same to you. I’m so sorry Betty.” 

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Betty tried to reassure him. “I kissed you, in the Blossom’s driveway and on the side of the road. If anybody should be apologizing it should be me.”

“Oh Betty no.” 

“I just needed to feel something… anything other than fear and I took advantage of you.” She wiped her own tears away but they wouldn’t stop coming and suddenly she was sobbing. Archie pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back. Betty calmed down and realized they were in the same position that they had been in two days ago. Instead of kissing him this time she scooted off his lap and back to her side of the couch, the blanket forgotten between them.

“Thank you.” She whispered and he nodded.

“Your first time should have been special, with flowers and music. I’m so sorry I took that away from you.”

“No Arch my first time was special because it was with you. That was the only thing that I ever dreamed about.” 

“I wish that my first time had been with you.” He answered honestly. 

“Me too.” She replied sadly.

“Is it weird to be grateful to Miss Grundy for teaching me how to touch a woman?” He asked but felt a little nauseous thinking back to the hours he spent with his teacher as she instructed him how to pleasure her, to touch her with his fingers, his mouth. Every “lesson” she taught him, had drilled into him, seemed almost second nature now. At first it had been all about him, until it wasn’t. She had literally trained him to be her gigolo at her beck and call. He had missed out on so much that summer, with his dad and with Betty too.

“I don’t know, I guess not. You made me feel really good. I had to hear V go on for hours about your magic fingers and mouth.” The minute she had said it she wanted to take it back. “I thought I would feel guiltier but I don’t.” She was referring to V and Jug. “We can never tell them.”

“We shouldn’t feel guilty. We aren’t with them, we didn’t cheat.” He offered. Betty nodded but still felt like they had betrayed them.

“What do we do now, I mean besides finding a good therapist.” She tried to joke but it fell flat. 

“That might not be a bad idea. For me at least.” He clarified. “I think I may need help.” 

Oh Archie!” 

“No really, I mean it Betts. I don’t think I have been processing things very well. It’s like the only two ways I handle anything is to fight or fuck.” He cringed at how awful that sounded.

“Ronnie and I broke up because after sex I told her I loved her. She couldn’t say it back and I was angry. I am realizing that our whole relationship mostly revolved around sex. And just like Miss Grundy I convinced myself that I was in love with her. Geraldine never said it back either.”

“I did.” Betty “I told you that I loved you. That night after the sophomore semi formal. You called me too perfect and walked away.” Betty clenched her fists and felt the familiar pain in her palms.

“I felt unworthy of you, I was so damaged and I didn’t want to bring you down with me.” He picked up her hands and opened them staring at the small half moon scars. “I never said that I didn’t love you.”

“No but you called me perfect.” She laughed harshly “I was just as damaged at you. I still am. I just wish you could have seen me.”

I was stupid and blind. I see you now.”

“It’s too late.”

“Is it?”

“I love Jughead, and you love Ronnie.” 

“Do you still love me?” He asked her. 

Betty wanted to deny it. To say she got over him. But it would be a lie. 

“Yes.” She nodded. “But it doesn’t change anything, It can’t .”

“Why not?” He looked so sad that she just wanted to comfort him. 

“Because loving you almost destroyed me, and I don’t know if I have the strength to survive it when you leave me again.” She got up, putting her slippers back on and buttoned up her coat. She needed to get out of here.before she lost it again.

“Betty!” Archie got up and grabbed her arm pulling her towards him. “Please.” He whispered and brought his mouth to hers. She kissed him back with all of the sorrow and pain she had felt that last year. She kissed him goodbye. 

Betty pulled back from him and moved out of his embrace heading toward the door. 

“Goodnight Archie.”

Goodnight.” He sounded so forlorn that she almost turned back to him, but she knew she had to leave now or there would be a repeat of the night before. So instead she went out into the frigid weather and closed the door behind her. It took her sometime to warm up again in her bedroom. How could she ever be warm again with this ice around her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very dialogue heavy and the POV kept switching between them. I hope it wasn’t too confusing. Archie’s comment about feeling “gratitude” to Miss Grundy for teaching him to pleasure a woman comes directly from a really difficult talk I had with a good friend a couple years back about sex addiction. He told me about how his babysitter taught him everything he knew about “eating pussy” He was 13, she was 22. It is still considered abuse even if it feels good and statutory rape isn’t always an older male and a younger female.   
> Thank you so much for your support. Kudos and comments feed the muse.

**Author's Note:**

> This was also supposed to be a one shot. Yeah Right! Already working on Chapter 2.


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